1955: Theresa and John Loef

Golden Couples of Pacific Palisades

Theresa and John Loef were married 50 years on November 12. Their first meeting in October 1954 was far from romantic. Terry was a New York-based flight attendant for American on transfer to California for three months. The airline gave the flight attendants guest passes to the Del Mar Club beach club on Pico. Terry and her girlfriends entered the club. “I saw a sea of men approaching us and I saw two guys sitting in the corner of the bar,” Terry recalls. “We headed straight over to the two guys because it seemed safer.” John’s friend instantly got up and offered his seat, but John stayed put. “Anyone can have this seat after 7:30,” John said. Terry remembers thinking, “That isn’t too gallant.” Today, John explains that for a dollar you could drink anything you wanted for an hour and a half, which is why he made the comment in jest that he wasn’t vacating his chair until the time was up. Terry must have left an impression on him, though, because he kept calling her after that night. “But I didn’t go out with him,” she said. John grew up in Maitowoc, Wisconsin, and received a degree in mechanical engineering. He went into the Navy and was at Pearl Harbor after the bombing to help with submarine repairs. During the Korean War he was called back into service to help with regular ship repair. He’s 10 years older than Terry and was a confirmed bachelor when they met. Terry’s roommate invited John and a friend to dinner. The men originally said no because they were going skiing, but when the ski rack fell off the car they went to dinner instead. Terry already had a date for dinner and Rose Bowl tickets for the following day. By the end of the evening, it seemed that she was spending more time with John than with her date. “From that time on we just seemed to blend,” Terry says. Another problem cropped up: How do you get a confirmed bachelor to pop the question? In April, Terry’s sister from Brockton, Massachusetts, was visiting and Terry had to work. While she was flying, John entertained her sister, taking her all over the city. When she got ready to leave, Terry expressed her doubt about whether John really liked her. Her sister said, “He loves you. He wouldn’t drag a sister all over the place if he didn’t.” Her sister suggested, “Just tell him you’re transferring back to New York.” In July, Terry and John were at a party at the Malibu Colony. There was a full moon as they went for a long walk on the beach. Terry took her sister’s advice and told John she was returning to New York. “Would you come back?” he asked. “I can’t answer that,” she said. At the end of July at another party, John’s brother was visiting and asked him, “If you marry her, would I have to go to Brockton?” “I’m not getting married,” John said. Terry came out and he started talking with her. A moment later she pushed the screen doors open at the house and ran in shouting, “I’m getting married.” “In two hours I went from telling my brother I wasn’t getting married to getting engaged,” John said. They were married November 12, 1955 in St. Casimir in Los Angeles and had their reception at the old Santa Ynez Inn in Pacific Palisades. “A beautiful place, a lovely dining room,” John recalls. “Now people hop in bed right away, live together, have a big wedding and then get a divorce,” Terry says. “I don’t get it.” “We took our vows seriously, for better or worse,” John says. They eventually bought a house on Kagawa for $23,000, then sold it for $40,000. The realtor told them that houses on the Alphabet streets would never be worth more than that, so they moved to the Huntington in 1966, where they’ve lived for the past 39 years. John worked at Douglas Aircraft for 23 years and retired at 56. He then worked for Hughes for an additional 11 years before retiring for good. They had three children’Lisa, Peter and Martin’within three years, and a fourth child, Michael, came six years later. John always insisted that once a month the two of them had time alone. They would go away for the weekend. “It helps bond you and keeps you together,” Terry said. The relationship wasn’t always smooth. “It was World War III at times,” Terry admits. How did they get through those times? “She would be so angry she wouldn’t talk,” John says. “I usually talked first.” “In a relationship you sometimes have to go more than 50-50,” Terry says. “Sometimes it’s 90 percent you have to go. He’s done more 90 than I have.” “It’s because you’re so feisty,” John says. “You have to keep working and working,” Terry says. “A marriage isn’t stagnant.” The two have traveled to all six continents and 70 countries. Once while they were in the Italian Alps, they packed a lunch and went for a hike. They discovered a deserted villa and picnicked on the balcony, where they had a spectacular view. “I always wonder about that place,” Terry said. “The tiles were intact, but the beautiful lampposts had been broken by vandals.” In addition to traveling, they participate in Elderhostel programs, which take them hot air ballooning in New Mexico, painting and canoeing in the Appalachians and wine tasting in Napa. In Maine they took a week-long cooking class and then a week of learning how to use power tools. Their 50th anniversary was a four-week celebration. Their children surprised them with a party at the Casa del Mar, where they first met. “I told them I didn’t want anything,” Terry said. “And then you started complaining because it looked like they weren’t going to do anything,” John said with a smile. After that party they traveled to Massachusetts, where Terry’s relatives gave them three parties in one day and then they departed on a two-week Caribbean cruise. While on board they planned to renew their vows, like they had done for their 20th and 40th anniversaries, but the priest missed boarding the ship. The Loefs did it themselves on the ship’in the moonlight, on the balcony, overlooking the ocean. “Every morning, he clips out the ‘Love is. . .’ from the newspaper and puts it by my plate,” Terry said. “I could have searched the whole world and never found someone who would love me as he does.”