Teacher, Author & Counselor
Layne Gayman Kardener passed away July 12 at the age of 68, following a courageous battle against ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). A vivacious, charismatic individualist who loved to laugh and dance, Layne demonstrated the value of being unconventional and unique. She embraced her humanity and was never ashamed of who she was, or of being imperfect. She taught us all how much richer is a life that is filled with passion. Layne was a spiritual and intuitive person, devoted to Judaism and the Jewish people. Raised an Orthodox Jew in Detroit, Michigan, she discovered Reconstructionist philosophy in the mid-1960s when she moved with her first husband, Dr. Sheldon Kardener, and their two young children to the Marquez Knolls area of Pacific Palisades, where she became a lifetime member of Kehillat Israel synagogue. Layne took immense pleasure in sharing the beauty of Judaism with others–starting with her family. As a young wife and mother, she was also a member of the Palisades chapters of Church Women United and Hadassah. Layne was a Palisadian through and through. In the 1960s she marched in anti-war rallies down Via de La Paz with her five-year-old son and toddler daughter in tow. In the 1970s she spent weekends with her family at Palisades Recreation Center and Rustic Canyon Park or went out for an evening meal at The Hotdog Show. In the 1980s she enjoyed walking with friends to the bluffs to watch the sunset. In the 1990s she and her second husband, the late Moses Heichman, could be found ‘kibitzing’ with everyone she met while hanging out at Mort’s Deli and at Starbucks. This decade, accompanied by her grandchildren, she enjoyed watching Fourth of July floats go by near her Sunset Boulevard condominium. A runway model in her early years, Layne was a stunning woman throughout her life. She had her own style that was apparent in everything she did. She was a devoted wife, mother and great friend to many. A social butterfly, she loved parties, whether she was throwing them or attending as a guest. Lane was a big fan of Broadway musicals and an entertainer who loved the spotlight but also didn’t mind sharing it with others. She loved to sing with friends at every opportunity and for any occasion, including the monthly jazz nights in Mort’s Oak Room. Over the course of her professional life, Layne was a fifth-grade schoolteacher, a marriage, family and child counselor, a Ph.D. candidate in psychology and a pupil of Anna Freud, and a family mediator. In 1982, Lane co-authored a guide called ‘Twenty Questions Divorcing Parents Ask About Their Children’ to help mitigate the harmful effect of divorce on children–a later edition of which is still being distributed nationwide throughout the Family and Conciliation Court system. She remained a fervent advocate for children’s rights in divorce. Layne’s joy in people and of the sparkling but fragile web of human connection transcended professional interest. Her passion was to find the broken strands in others’ lives and try to reweave them into dazzling new patterns, always leaving behind a thread of connection between her heart and the hearts of those fortunate enough to have crossed her path. A perpetual optimist and a fighter to the end, Layne refused to believe her ALS diagnosis 100 percent, although she underwent the prescribed treatments and courses of medication. She always felt she would be ‘the first to beat it!’ Her family believes her hope and ‘joie de vivre’ kept her going long beyond the average life expectancy for a victim of ALS. Layne will be forever missed by her children, Moss and Rona Kardener, her “daughter-in-love” Renee Kardener and grandchildren Gabriel and Aviva Kardener, all of Oakland; and her brother Joel Gayman of Los Angeles. Memories of Layne may be addressed to her family at Onstrategy@aol.com. Please indicate ‘LGK Memories’ in the subject line of your message. To honor her lifetime work as a family therapist and mediator, charitable contributions may be sent to Family Assessment Counseling and Education Services, Attention Mary O’Connor, 505 E. Commonwealth, Suite 200, Fullerton, CA 92832.
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