Ask BBB

Q:Now that my husband and I have settled into a schedule with our first-born, we are considering the idea of adding a dance or music class, but our kid is just 18 months old. Are there developmental benefits to programs like this at this age? Or is it better to hold off until they are older?

In the “olden days” little children went to nursery school when they were 3 years old for just two years and to kindergarten when they were 5 years old. That was just enough for the little ones.

Things have really changed. Not only are we putting kids in pre preschool programs, toddler school, but some regular preschool programs, which children attend independently, start children as young as 2 years old. Wow!

While parents’ ideas about what very young children need have changed, children’s development and needs have not changed one bit! We know that our youngest children are still subject to their development. And development has its own timeline. It cannot be rushed or overloaded. Young toddlers are little sponges and explorers. They are interested in everything, and within the comfort of loving care, they are up for exploring their little world. Slowly and bit by bit.

When considering to what activities you might expose your 18 month old, I give you this caveat: Don’t do anything just because others are doing so! These days it seems that “competitive parenting” includes the misguided notion that kids need all these activities to put them in a position of readiness. This idea is simply not true. Almost everything to which we expose our children can be done in a less institutionalized, less structured, less formal (and less expensive) way.

Starting a child too young can be a mistake. He may not be physically ready; he may not be emotionally ready to leave your side. We certainly don’t want to turn a child off to something he would absolutely love if offered later in his development.

Then there is the developmentally appropriateness of the activity for any particular child. In addition, the teacher needs to be tuned into the capacity of the age child he is teaching. Being a musician does not make one a great music teacher, especially to young children. I once took my 13-month-old granddaughter to a music class for 1 year olds. The teacher was trying her best to encourage the little ones to do things that 2 year olds would do (“get up and dance”). My little one was glued to my lap and had a great time watching the other kids. It was as much as I hoped.

Finally, we know that 18 month olds are smack in the middle of their stage of development known as their sensory motor stage. The most important thing we can do is to feed those senses because that is how they learn.

It certainly is not a bad thing at all to expose your little one to an age-appropriate activity or two. But don’t overdo it just because your neighbor is doing ball sports and beginning string instruments and color recognition and basket weaving. All children need plenty of time outdoors, exploring with all their senses, running, and starting to climb and falling. Remember always that downtime is when children of all ages do their best learning and growing.

BBB is a child development and behavior specialist in Pacific Palisades. She can be reached through betsybrownbraun.com.