On a beautiful Pacific Palisades afternoon last Friday, hundreds of mourners gathered at St. Matthew’s Church to pay tribute to actor Peter Graves at his funeral service. The longtime resident of the Palisades’who with his wife, Joan, had become an integral part of the community’died on March 14 outside his Santa Monica Canyon home. Graves, whose career in film and television spanned 60 years, was best known for his Golden Globe-winning turn as James Phelps on the classic TV show ‘Mission: Impossible,’ and for his role as Captain Clarence Oveur in ‘Airplane!’ From the podium inside St. Mathew’s, three of the Graves’s six grandchildren shared their remembrances of the man they called ‘Papa,’ fighting back emotion and tears. ‘This outpouring of love is overwhelming,’ Kate McCaslin said to an audience that included ‘Mission: Impossible’ co-star Martin Landau, ‘Mannix’ star and longtime friend Mike Connors, Graves’ ‘7th Heaven’ co-stars Stephen Collins and Catherine Hicks, and Palisadian Tom Hanks, who quietly slipped into the back of the church. ‘I’m the only one crazy enough in the family to follow him into Hollywood, much to his chagrin,’ McCaslin said. ‘Papa loved showbiz but not for his daughters and granddaughters. ‘His advice was always spot on,’ she continued. ‘One time, when I was thinking of throwing in the towel, he walked to the door, turned around, and said to me, ‘There’s no business like show businesses…” McCaslin also quoted him as telling her, ”Sweetie, you were bitten by the bug!” ‘He was not just Peter Graves but my grandfather,’ said Trevor McNabb, who had composed his speech on his flight to Los Angeles. He said he was into ‘the most amazing, unique family that anyone could ask for. I hope to create a family as great as the one he created.’ Paying tribute to her grandfather, Victoria Gaston also shared an amusing anecdote of Peter’s penchant for removing the crust from sandwich bread. ‘It’s the ratio of too much bread for the meat inside,’ she said, doing her best Peter Graves. ‘He was bigger than life,’ Gaston continued. ‘He was always there, especially when we needed him. He was so good at making sure he gave his family his time.’ Autograph hounds would have to take a back seat to the people Graves prioritized, Gaston said: ‘He loved his fans but he very graciously told them to go away.’ In the funeral service program, Graves’ daughters, Kelly Jean McCalsin, Claudia King and Amanda Graves, also shared their feelings for their father. Kelly Jean wrote, ‘I’ve been wearing your sweatshirt, Dad, all week, and I finally realized that this is your way of still enveloping me in your arms.’ Claudia referenced a Graves family breakfast favorite, Cap’n Crunch Crunchberries cereal, and ended off with ‘I love you, Daddy-O!’ Amanda wrote to her dad, ‘You were the glue that held my life together,’ and signed her tribute ‘Mandie Mouse.’ After the grandchildren spoke, ‘Mission: Impossible’ co-star Peter Lupus took to the stage. Addressing his departed friend as ‘Peter G.,’ Lupus noted that ‘The more you got to know him, the more you appreciated him and the more you loved him.’ Lupus recalled that when Graves joined the cast of ‘Mission: Impossible’ on the first day of rehearsals at Paramount, ‘we waited to see if it would work. Peter was a perfect fit. His very quick wit and warm persona won us all over. But we didn’t tell him till the end of the day!’ The final speaker was entertainment manager Sandy Brokaw, who had been Graves’ agent since 1992. ‘Sixty years of show biz, 60 years of marriage,’ Brokaw said. ‘It’s a great story and a press agent’s dream.’ Noting that Graves ‘was very comfortable with his celebrity,’ Brokaw read some of the e-mails he received from fans all over the world following the actor’s death. One from diner owner Frank Hill near Reno read, ‘Peter would stop at my place for a sandwich and a drink on his way to Tahoe [where the Graves family owns a home]. One day, I happened to be playing ‘Airplane!’ on the television set. He sat with us and laughed at us laughing at parts of ‘Airplane!’ So I decided to run ‘Airplane!’ every afternoon just on a chance that he’d come in.’ With Graves, his profession and his personal life were very much kept separate, and by doing so, he was able to be successful at both. McCaslin called her grandparents’ romance ‘the greatest love story ever known.’ ‘In the movie business, where marriage and divorce seems to be a way of life, Peter and Joan shared a marriage for nearly 60 years,’ said The Reverend Dr. George F. Regas, rector emeritus at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena. Regas also commended Graves on his professional choices. ‘We live in a world of violence,’ Regas said. ‘Yet Peter, as an actor, refused to take any violent roles. Peter was a big man.’ As Regas brought the service to a close, he conveyed the family’s wish to invite everyone in attendance to the reception, which followed at a nearby historic setting. ‘The reason Joan picked the Bel-Air Bay Club to hold the reception,’ Regas said, ‘is because you can look one way and see the ocean and you can look the other way and see the mountains. The sea and the mountains: that is why Peter loved to live in Pacific Palisades.’ McNabb had set the tone for the rest of the evening when he said, ‘I will not mourn today, I will celebrate.’ Celebrate they did at the Bel-Air Bay Club reception, where guests dined on Kobe hamburger sliders, salmon, and quesadillas (Peter’s favorites). At the gathering, at once melancholy and festive, a large screen played highlights from Graves’ storied entertainment career. Guests exchanged memories of Peter and lined up to console Joan. And another ‘Mission: Impossible’ star shared his memories of working with Peter Graves. ‘He was one of the best guys on the planet,’ Landau told the Palisadian-Post. Oscar-winning actor Landau”whose classic films include ‘North by Northwest,’ ‘Crimes and Misdemeanors,’ and ‘Ed Wood”’shared memories of working with Graves on ‘Mission: Impossible.’ ‘It was always a pleasure to come to work,’ Landau recalled. ‘Working with him, he was a joy. No temper tantrums. He came prepared. He was creative and fun to be with. It was always a joy to come to work.’ Landau had kept in touch with the Graveses over the years. ‘I’ve seen him at some of the Oscar parties and Joan as well,’ he said. ‘Our paths crossed often. ‘It’s an enviable marriage,’ Landau continued of Joan and Peter’s union. He remarked how lucky it was that Graves was surrounded by family on his final day. ‘They had just celebrated his birthday,’ Landau said of Graves, who would have turned 84 on March 18. ‘It was wonderful serendipity [that the family was there]. They had just celebrated his life.’
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