I Am a Teenage Lion Tamer

By DANIEL WINTSON GATTO | Junior Reporter

Most 16 year olds work a summer job at a fast food joint or a camp but I’m not ordinary in any way, I am a Teenage Lion Tamer!

I wake up as I always do at 6:14 am, fearing for my life as the sun rises. I knew today may very well be the day that those dangerous creatures take me out.

I put on my uniform, a safari hat, sunglasses, and a tie dye shirt. I grab my gear and proceeded to the steel 6 foot fenced enclosure keeping the Lions in their habitat.

As I get closer I could hear the roars coming from the distance. I shiver with fear and hold my weapons tighter as I could envision their sharp teeth.

I heard the sound of the gate slam behind me as I entered their lair and jumped a little. I had to prepare myself because the closer I got the scarier everything became. The smell got worse, the noises got louder.

I wondered why I took this job in the first place, the pay was okay but the risk was way too high. I guess somebody has to deal with the beasts for they are intruders, lounging around and defacing property that is not theirs.

Every day is the same, a battle of wits vs stubbornness, these territorial beasts fear no man. As I turned the corner, I saw them and they saw me. In their eyes I saw evil and also fish.

Their growl was warning me to get away but I could not show my fear. I raised the pool noodles over my head so that I would appear way bigger and I crept towards them.

They stood their ground and I realized that they weren’t going to budge as the largest male stood up and started to move towards me to protect its young. It was a standoff and I was trying my best to make them back down.

I tried to approach again but he roared at me so I had to resort to my deadliest weapon “The Enforcer” which you might know by its common name, “The Garden Hose.” I turned the spigot on and started spraying.

The beasts were no match for the cold spray and quickly jumped into the water and swam away. But not before they popped their heads out of the water to bark one last time at me. Relieved, I was safe for another day.

I have to be careful every day because these were no ordinary Lions like Simba and Mufasa. These are Sea Lions otherwise known as Zalophus Californianus and I am paid to keep them off my neighbors’ boats and docks in Marina del Rey.

These local Sea Animals are protected under the Marine Mammal Protection Act but they are a nuisance to the people who live near them as they poop all over the docks, damage the boats by lounging in them and make everything very smelly.

Most nights I hear them bark, sometimes in the distance, but sometimes they are so close that it sounds like they are in my room and I know that tomorrow, I will have to face them once again.