‘Jimmy Dunne Says’

The Palisadian-Post presents an homage to Will Rogers’ column, “Will Rogers Says,” with a column by Palisadian Jimmy Dunne—on life in the “greatest town in America.”

‘The Moment When You’re Born’

Picture you’re any animal. You’re born. You look around. You look down at your body. You look at your mother.

That’s the moment. You realize what you are.

Wow. I’m a duck.

Or maybe you realize you’re a squirrel. With a hankering for a good nut. Maybe you’re a grasshopper. Or an anchovy fish. Or maybe you realize you’re a dung beetle in the Amazon. Look over there. There’s dinner. Sure smells good.

Or maybe, just maybe, you realize you’re a human. There’s mom. I’m hungry. I want to be held. Look at my 10 fingers—they’re fun.

Here’s a little game.

Let’s say somehow, someway, before this moment happens—you get to pick.

You get to pick what you are, where you are, when you are—that kind of stuff.

I’m going to start the game where you already get to be a human.

Just for the record, there are 200,000,000-to-1 insects-to-humans in the world.

You just hit the granddaddy of lotteries.

Don’t forget, as you pick these other answers, you only get to do this thing called “life” once. That’s it. So, make sure you’re good with your answers.

Here we go …

1. When.

Pick when you want to be born. 180,000 BC? Might be for you if you’re a big fan of nudist colonies. Let’s knock 100,000 years off. 80,000 BC? Maybe your name is “Uuugh.” That would be about the extent of your charming vocabulary.

Middle Ages? Might want to push the pause button if you’re a woman. 1850? Simpler times, but make sure you’re OK with no electricity. Phones. Cars. Life expectancy in the world was 29 years.

Or maybe the year you were born?

Write down the year you’d pick.
___________________________

2. What country.

China? Mexico? Pakistan? Ethiopia? Uruguay? United States? Qatar? North Korea?

Pick anywhere you want to grow up, raise a family, have a career.
___________________________

3. Pick any family.

Pick any parents in the world you want. As a bonus, today only, I’ll throw in you can even pick some brothers and sisters.

___________________________

4. Pick your town you’ll be born in.

Any town in that country that you chose.

___________________________

While you’re at it, pick the house you’d like to grow up in. That’ll decide who your friends are, and probably how one thing will lead to the next for the rest of your whole life.

5. A couple other bonus picks.

You can even pick your grade school and high school.

___________________________

You can even pick the person you get to marry. That’s a big one.

___________________________

That’s the quiz.

Now, if you wouldn’t mind, go find a big mirror in your home.

See who’s looking back at you.

If you’re really, really, really lucky, the life you picked was to be …You.

100 billion people have been guests on this amazing planet, and of all the people, all the families, in all the places, in all the times—you get your dream life.

Being the one-of-a-kind, absolutely spectacular, full of love … You.

Jimmy Dunne is modern-day Renaissance Man; a hit songwriter (28 million hit records), screenwriter/producer of hit television series, award-winning author, an entrepreneur—and a Palisadian “Citizen of the Year.” You can reach him at j@jimmydunne.com.