Proceed and Prevail! That is the signature line of Palisadian Angela Wilder, who recently wrote her first book: ‘Powerful Mate Syndrome: Reclaiming Your Strength and Purpose When Your Partner Is the Star of the Relationship.’ The book is aimed toward women (and men) who are in relationships where they feel less powerful than their partner. Calling herself the ‘Reality Godmother,’ she admonishes women to let go of the fantasy of the princess whose prince will rescue her, and guides them to take responsibility for themselves. ”Wilder, a marriage and family therapy intern and former NBA wife who has personally experienced what she writes about, will sign her book and speak on Wednesday, October 27 at 7:30 p.m. at Village Books, 1049 Swarthmore. ”Wilder met basketball player James Worthy when they were both students at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. They maintained a long-distance relationship after he was drafted by the Lakers, and until she moved to L.A. in 1984 to marry. The couple divorced in 1996. ”’When I was first married, I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be great if someone wrote a book about what you’re entering into?” she recalls. ”Wilder, whose ambition since she was a young girl was to be Barbara Walters, found herself giving up many parts of herself and feeling insignificant in comparison to her husband, who had a high-paying, successful basketball career. ”’A lot of athlete’s wives feel almost unentitled to have a life of their own,’ says Wilder, who mentions some of the other challenges of being an NBA wife. ‘It’s not a world where marital fidelity is greatly encouraged. You’re always dealing with people who want to be a part of your world for all the wrong reasons, and it’s hard to know whom to trust.’ ”’There were wonderful parts of it too,’ she adds. ‘There are some experiences I will treasure forever.’ ”In her book, Wilder shares her own experience and that of many others she’s talked to who have been in relationships with powerful mates. She is quick to point out that that doesn’t necessarily mean their mate is rich or famous’they could be important in the community, have a forceful personality, or be powerful in their mate’s eyes. ”’I didn’t feel empowered to pursue my own interests,’ she said. ‘I bought into the idea I was supposed to be a princess. Princesses are not empowered people. I sought his approval for everything, and I thought I had to be less, in order for him to be more.’ A member of Screen Actors Guild, she worked occasionally as an actress during their marriage. ‘I would audition every now and then, but if it conflicted with a game or something he was doing, I turned it down.’ Wilder points out that this isn’t something her husband told her to do, but a choice she made on her own for which she takes responsibility. ”She says that the male partner, if he is the powerful one, often doesn’t like being in that situation either. ‘I’ve had many men respond positively to the book. I don’t think men want princesses either, or to be burdened with the responsibility for their partner’s happiness.’ ”In the book, she identifies the aspects of Powerful Mate Syndrome, which she calls ‘the other PMS,’ and offers a plan for individuals and couples to take back their own power, including couples creating a ‘game plan’ for the relationship. ”’Proceed and Prevail’ could also apply to the author herself. Perseverance was an important part of her writing the book and getting it published. The mother of Sable, 14, and Sienna, 12, both Windward students, Wilder began writing her book five years ago during her children’s orthodontist appointments, gymnastic lessons and soccer practices. ”When she began the book she was also a graduate student in psychology at Antioch University. ‘Even busy, busy moms, if there’s a book in you, it may take you a decade to do it, but you can do it,’ she says. ”’Who I am with my daughters is very real and up front,’ Wilder says. ‘I think it’s more rewarding and fun to be a real woman than be a princess.’ ”When she married Worthy, Wilder was immediately in a situation where she had money at her disposal, without any experience in how to handle it wisely. ”She believes it’s important for women in a relationship with a powerful mate to take part in caring for the finances, and to have her own funds, as well as a job or volunteer work of her own”something you can call your own.’ ”She has seen many women married to a wealthy, powerful man go to work, including herself: ‘I want to counter the fairy godmother. People are empowered by a dose of reality.’ ”One dose of reality she gives her readers is to suggest that people begin a relationship with an end in mind. ‘Every marriage is going to end someday [due to death or divorce]. If people realize the truth in that, they’ll have more fulfilling relationships.’

When it comes to crossword puzzles, the world is clearly divided between those who always finish and those who, well, don’t. This premise lies at the heart of Jerry Mayer’s new play ‘2 Across,’ a romantic comedy where opposites (puzzlers, that is) attract on a commuter train. ”This is Mayer’s seventh play and collaboration with producer Emily Mayer, his wife of 51 years. During a recent interview, the couple, longtime Palisadians, frequently referred to the new work as ‘our play,’ showing the synergistic devotion each brings to the task.’ ”Rehearsals are taking place in the garage of the Mayers’ Paseo Miramar hilltop home, where an authentically reproduced BART train interior’soon to be transferred to the Santa Monica Playhouse for previews beginning October 22’is the setting for the action. ”A man and woman meet on the train at 4:15 a.m. as it leaves San Francisco station on its way to the East Bay. She takes crosswords’ and life’very seriously, and he treats both like a game. ‘She’s successful, he’s a free spirit who is not task-oriented,’ Mayer explains. ‘The minute he hits a stone wall with the puzzle, he heads to the sports section.’ By the time they reach East Bay 80 minutes later (the play is acted out in real time with no intermission) their lives have changed. ”During the course of writing the play, Jerry Mayer himself crossed over from casual puzzler to one who is driven to finish. Not surprisingly, he sees solving crossword puzzles as a metaphor for life. ‘The idea of completing something can help you with everything,’ Mayer says. ‘It’s about not giving up. ”’Most of my plays have to do with love, and the main idea here is never giving up on finding it. It’s a topic that interests everyone.’ He adds: ‘If you’re lucky enough to marry the right person, it’s more important than anything in life.’ ”Clearly the Mayers are in the lucky category, with a fun-loving and easy rapport characterizing their teamwork. ‘When I hear ‘Jerry, you’ve gone too far,’ I change it,’ says Mayer, referring to Emily, his chief reader and critic. ‘She keeps me honest.’ ”Not only does she have major artistic input, Emily handles financial affairs and all the scheduling for Jerry’s plays. ‘I do everything’place stamps on envelopes, deal with actors, call press people, you name it,’ Emily says with a laugh. ‘It’s really a labor of love.’ ”The Mayers’ own love affair began in St. Louis when both were teenagers. After marrying, Jerry originally set out to work in his family’s construction business, but knew in his heart he wanted to be a writer. ‘I was always the class clown,’ he recalls. ‘I felt I should be writing comedy.”’ ”Success selling a spec script to the television sitcom ‘McHale’s Navy’ prompted a daring move to Los Angeles in 1966 with their three kids when the couple were in their 30s. After what Mayer refers to as a ‘suitable period of struggle,’ he eventually reached the top of his game, writing for such classic TV comedies as ‘All in the Family,’ ‘MASH,’ ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show,’ ‘The Bob Newhart Show,’ and ‘The Facts of Life’ over a period of 25 years. ”It was in the ’80s that Mayer turned his creative juices to playwriting. His first three plays, all comedies, are strongly autobiographical. ‘Almost Perfect’ dealt with the early days of the Mayers’ marriage and leaving the family building business; ‘Aspirins and Elephants’ turned a comedic eye to Mayer’s in-laws; and ‘A Love Affair’ looked at the comedy and drama of marriage. Other Mayer productions soon followed, including ‘Killjoy’ and two musicals, ‘Falling in Love Again,’ and ‘You Haven’t Changed a Bit & Other Lies.’ ”’I have picked things in my own life that ring a bell with everyone,’ Mayer says. While getting laughs is the main goal, Mayer also reaches for his audience’s heart. ‘I always go for some lumps in the throat, too.’ ”’2 Across,’ directed by Deborah Harmon, stars two alternating casts of actors: Susan Cash, Sandra Kerns, Kip Gilman and Steve Vinovich. ”The play will be performed at Santa Monica Playhouse, 1211 Fourth Street, on Fridays at 8 p.m., Saturdays at 6 and 8:30 p.m. and Sundays at 6 p.m. Previews take place October 22 through November 5. The play opens on November 6 and continues through December 9. For reservations, call (800) 863-7785.”

When Ernest Marquez tells the story of Santa Monica Beach in his new book of the same name, he is casting events through his own family history. Marquez is a name familiar to Palisadians, as it was Francisco Marquez and Ysidro Reyes to whom the original Spanish land grant was given’6,656 acres stretching from just north of Topanga Canyon to just south of Entrada Drive. Ernest’s great-grandfather Francisco and Reyes grazed their cattle on the grassy headlands of the Rancho Boca de Santa Monica and built simple adobe homes in Santa Monica Canyon. ”Like his father and grandfather, Ernest, who was born 80 years ago, grew up in Santa Monica Canyon in a small home just behind Canyon School. ‘I used to play with all the kids at school even before I was old enough to go,’ Marquez says. ‘I walked out the door, around the fence and I was there.’ ”When Marquez was a boy, there were only 30 kids in the school and just four in his 6th grade graduating class. His teacher, the dedicated Miss Weber, lived across the road near the creek. She was a spinster married to her calling, and unforgettable, says Marquez. ‘She used to read us stories from Shakespeare and ‘Ivanhoe” while playing Wagner on the record player.’ ”Marquez’ father died when the young Ernest was only 4. His mother kept him and his sister Dolly clothed and fed by working in a candy factory in Venice, making chocolates. She perfected the art so well that she would ‘make tons of chocolates at home as gifts for Christmas,’ Marquez remembers. ”’Growing up I had no clue of our family’s involvement in California history,’ Marquez says. ‘I kept hearing stories, talked to some old aunts and uncles but each gave their own story; each said theirs was the truth.’ ”This confusion drove Marquez to search the records at the Library of Congress and the Board of Land Commissioners only to discover that historians had ignored their rancho. ‘I asked historian W. W. Robinson how come our rancho had been ignored? ”’He said, ‘If you don’t leave records, you don’t leave any history.” ” Determined to fill in the gaps in his own understanding of his forefathers, Ernest became the family historian, initially while he was still employed as a commercial artist in the aerospace industry. He searched newspaper articles from the period and minutes from meetings of the Santa Monica Trustees. Along the way, he began collecting old photographs of family members and memorabilia of scenes of early Santa Monica. ‘I soon realized that I had a visual record, encompassing more than a century of the development of the beach at Santa Monica. Many of the photographs, taken years apart, were of the same scene from the same location by different photographers.’ ”’Santa Monica Beach: A Collector’s Pictorial History’ (Angel City Press) is a collection of many of those photographs and an abbreviated history that highlights some of the dramatic changes that have occurred to the beach over the last 125 years. ”The history of Santa Monica beach falls into easy chapters’many of which will resonate with local readers because of the land-use decisions and landmarks that remain to this day. As early as the 1850s, Santa Monica Canyon attracted vacationers from Los Angeles, 21 miles away, who would travel all day over dirt trails to enjoy an opportunity to splash in the ocean. The Marquez and Reyes families welcomed these visitors and allowed them to set up their tents beneath the sycamores and close to the creek. ”Marquez offers a fascinating description of the development of Santa Monica as a beach resort, which was fully developed by the turn of the century. One of the first hotels was the Santa Monica Hotel, which was built in 1876 at the corner of Ocean and Railroad (Colorado). It offered a dining room, bar and baths on the first floor and sleeping rooms upstairs. ”The author points out that in the 1870s, some Victorian codes of decency lingered and few people were bold enough to appear in swimsuits in public view. ”’For the most part if people wanted to relax in the water, they visited a bathhouse on the beach to soak in a porcelain tub rather than take a dip in the ocean,’ Marquez writes. ‘Bathhouses had comforts that the ocean did not possess, such as rooms for rent with bathtubs filled with warm saltwater from the ocean or huge plunges (which we now call swimming pools). ”While the beach was recognized as a destination for visitors, businessmen were eyeing the bay for its commercial possibilities. In chapter two, Marquez tells the vivid story of wealthy Nevada senator and businessman John Jones, who was looking for a terminus for the railroad he intended to build from his Panamint silver mines in Independence, California. The railroad, known as the Los Angeles & Independence, was completed in 1875 and ran from downtown Los Angeles to Railroad Avenue (Colorado). Jones also built a wharf extending into the ocean that served as a warehouse and depot for unloading ships. ”Marquez describes the cutthroat competition among railroad owners over the official location of Los Angeles’ major port, a decision that was ultimately determined by Congress. While Jones lost out to railroad magnate Collis Huntington, whose Southern Pacific Railroad owned the only rail line from L.A. to the port at San Pedro, Huntington’s own greed eventually caught up with him. By 1890, Huntington faced mounting competition from the Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Railroad, which was handling over 60 percent of the water traffic coming in and out of Los Angeles through its Redondo Beach wharf. He decided that the only way to ensure shipping for the Southern Pacific was to have his own harbor. So he pulled out of San Pedro and built the 4,720-ft. Long Wharf, which stretched out to sea from Potrero Canyon. From its completion in 1893, to 1896, a total of 759 ships from all over the world called at Port Los Angeles (Long Wharf). Alas, in 1897, Congress resolved the harbor controversy and ruled that San Pedro was the logical site for L.A’s deep water harbor. The loss of business and eventually Huntington’s death in 1900 spelled the end of his harbor. ”In subsequent chapters, Marquez follows the colorful diversions of beach visitors, who by the 1920s enjoyed the pleasure piers that stretched into the ocean from Santa Monica to Venice. He describes amusements from bathhouses to beach clubs, roller coasters to ballrooms. Many readers will be fascinated to learn that the La Monica Ballroom, at the end of the Santa Monica Pier, drew crowds from all over the world when it opened in 1924. There were fashion and automobile shows, weekly carnivals, masked balls, Mardi Gras and fireworks. At night the pier and all its attractions’the carousel, roller coaster, Aeroscope and the ballroom, were illuminated with thousands of small electric lights. The final chapters of the book are dedicated to the photographs and the photographers. The reader has to remember that before the Brownie mass-marketed camera, there were no snapshots. Picture-taking was a highly technical and difficult process that was the domain of professionals. ” ”In addition to professional photographers, souvenir postcards became popular, and around the turn of the century real photo postcards became the mode. These were printed on photographic paper and cut into postcards with space on the back for a message. ”When Marquez started collecting old photographs and memorabilia, he found images of Santa Monica Beach as far back as the 1880s for $2 or $3 apiece in junk shops and at garage sales. ”’I got to the point that I could spot a Santa Monica image from across the room. As years went on I accumulated several hundred. I would study them not so much for the image but to see whatever else was there. Each one holds mysteries I’ve never been able to solve.’ ”Marquez will talk about Santa Monica Beach and sign his book at 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, October 26 at Village Books 1049 Swarthmore.