After going through breakups with their boyfriends, both Marni Kamins and Janice MacLeod felt a mixture of feelings, from devastation to emptiness. They filled the void in a variety of creative ways, which led to their writing “The Breakup Repair Kit.” The first-time authors will speak about their book, published by Conari Press, at Village Books, 1049 Swarthmore, on Thursday, January 29 at 7:30 p.m. Kamins, a Palisades native, and MacLeod, a Canadian, both live in Santa Monica. They met two and a half years ago at a reading of “Transformation Soup” by the author SARK. They felt an instant connection, and later bonded over their shared grieving. Weaving together their personal stories and research about loss, they have written a fun, light-hearted book they call “first aid for the heart.” The small-sized paperback, laid out like a first aid manual and printed in pink ink with whimsical illustrations, is divided into three parts, each made up of short paragraphs and tips: “The Mourning After,” “Rebuild Your Life,” and “Back in the Saddle.” “People going through breakups have a short attention span,” says MacLeod, who initially came up with the book idea in a yoga class. “I had an idea of a girl sitting in a nest.” In the book, this translates into a nurture nest-creating a space to feel one’s feelings, sort of a grown-up version of the childhood blanket fort. The authors also debunk fears, delusional thinking and black-and-white thoughts such as “I have no one left in the whole wide world who loves me.” “It’s ‘Healing 101.’ For a lot of people in their 20s, it’s their first big loss,” says MacLeod. They would get together a few times a week at one another’s homes or at coffee shops, writing down and drawing all their ideas. They later submitted these illustrated pages to publishers. They originally envisioned a kit which, along with the book, would contain candles, facial masks and tea. Kamins, 27, who has a master’s degree in spiritual psychology from University of Santa Monica, is a freelance writer and tutor. She attended Marquez, graduated from Santa Monica High School, and is active at Kehillat Israel. Even though Kamins initiated the breakup with her boyfriend, she still had feelings of loss. MacLeod, 29, a freelance advertising copywriter, had met her boyfriend in Toronto and moved with him to Los Angeles. “The breakup was mutual, but I knew he wanted out-it was very painful,” she says. Encouraging women to be as supportive of themselves as possible, the authors also suggest women focus on something greater than themselves to help them through the pain. The book discusses everything from post-breakup sex to reconnecting with one’s spirituality. In fact, MacLeod cites meditation as the most helpful for her after her breakup. Kamins says for her, it was prayer: “Talking to God out loud or writing a Dear God letter.” Her prayers ranged from “I believe you have a plan for me” to “What are you doing this for?” “Prayer made me feel maybe I really am taken care of, that maybe someone does have a plan,” Kamins says. Offering comfort and understanding, the authors say, “Try not to beat yourself up about feeling bad.” They offer lots of ideas about how to help yourself feel better, everything from “take yourself out to dinner,” to advice on what to do with the “couple” stuff you’re not quite ready to get rid of (photos, letters, mementos). The authors also advocate ceasing all communication with the ex at some point, to focus on yourself and your own healing. MacLeod eventually did that with her ex, and today the two have a friendship. “Guys have been buying the book,” says MacLeod. “Men are inherent problem solvers. They give it as a gift to a female friend.” Readers are encouraged to fill the void in healthy ways. “I felt I had no idea what to do with my time,” said Kamins, whose motive was not to fill the void with food. “It’s about filling the void with creative stuff,” says MacLeod. The book also talks about sadness versus depression, and when a support group or therapist might be helpful. “I’ve gone through a breakup where it feels like you can’t get through the day,” Kamins says. “That’s when you may want to see a professional.” The authors found each other’s company provided a nice support group, which they want to share with other newly unattached women. The last part of the book gives advice about when you’re ready for a new relationship and steps to continue taking care of yourself. Both women are now in new relationships, both having learned from their breakups and subsequent healing. “What I learned from writing the book is that men will take care of themselves first,” Kamins says. “I need to learn to take care of myself first. I’ve gotten better at it.” For more information or for breakup counseling, go to www.breakuprepairkit.com.

By LONNIE RESSER Special to the Palisadian-Post Seven senior Girl Scouts in the Palisades have been approved by Angeles Girl Scout Council to proceed with their Gold Award projects. The Gold Award is the highest award a Girl Scout can achieve and is the equivalent of the Eagle Award in the Boy Scouts. It is earned by completing a self-designed community service project that must be subsequently approved by the Gold Committee at the Angeles Girl Scout Council. Many of the projects involve donations of supplies, as the girls are not permitted to seek donations of money. The Gold Award project can be submitted for consideration only after the girls have completed four other extensive requirements as senior scouts, involving at least 75 hours of effort, including Leadership and Career Exploration programs. Six girls from Troop 477 in the Palisades are currently working on their projects. Olivia Mell, a junior at Wildwood, is planning charity dance performances with Emily Kay of Fancy Feet Dance Studio. The performances will be held at children’s hospitals and a senior home. She is also collecting toys and items for the sick children at the hospital where the performance will take place. Toys, such as Barbie dolls or video games (but no used stuffed animals, please), may be dropped off at Fancy Feet Dance Studio, 881 Alma Real Dr., Ste T-27.Lonnie Resser, a junior at Palisades Charter High School, is conducting a book drive to collect books for Coeur d’Alene Elementary School in Venice. Three new teachers need classroom libraries. She will also organize the books in a way that will make them easily accessible by the students. These teachers teach kindergarten, second and fourth grade. Books for this project may be e-mailed to Lonnie at Lresser@yahoo.com. Jackie Kallberg, a junior at PaliHi, is quilting blankets for children at Mattel Children’s Hospital. Lydia Farzin-Nia, a PaliHi junior, is developing a garden educational center at Coeur d’Alene Elementary School in Venice and teaching the students about gardening, a good classroom resource. She will also be doing arts and crafts projects with the students. Her project requires donations of seeds, flowers, soil, fertilizer, wood, watering cans, garden tools, pine cones, peanut butter and bird seeds. Alex Michael, a PaliHi junior, is collecting arts and crafts supplies for children at the Mattel Children’s Hospital. She will be making baskets with these supplies that will allow the children to pass their time spent in the hospital in a constructive and creative way that will also allow them to express themselves. Kelley Costello, a junior at The Archer School for Girls, has completed construction of indoor and outdoor library facilities for the Palisades Presbyterian nursery school, including bookcases, a table, and two benches. She will also be refinishing its outdoor covered reading pavilion. Alice Hernandez from Troop 729 is a junior at PaliHi, where she has started the “Hope Club” for cancer patients. Alice is collecting CDs, DVDs, tapes and video games for cancer patients. She will be painting a mural on canvas for the patients as well. If you would like to donate items, please contact her at 454-6255. The girls would welcome support from the community for these projects with the in-kind donations indicated. Donations can be submitted at Palisades Presbyterian Church’s Janes Hall, or e-mail Lonnie at Lresser@yahoo.com for pickup.

When Palisadian Anjini Desai married and moved to Los Angeles from Bombay in 1996, she vowed to keep the language, customs and traditions of her native land alive, a pledge made all the more meaningful when she became a mother. Desai is exuberantly fulfilling her mission as an ambassador of Indian culture, both with her own children and many other kids in the Palisades. In December, Desai introduced students at Seven Arrows Elementary to Diwali, India’s spectacular festival of lights. Celebrated in India in the fall in accordance with the lunar calendar, Diwali commemorates the arrival of the Hindu Lord Rama, who is said to have returned from exile to reclaim his kingdom. “It’s the biggest festival in India,” says Neil Desai, Anjini’s husband, who is vice president of a biotechnology firm in Santa Monica.”Even though it’s based in religion and represents the Hindu New Year, it’s more of a cultural thing that everyone celebrates.” During the five-day festival, Indians light thousands of earthen “diya,” small oil lamps to illuminate the path of Lord Rama and to welcome Lakshmi, the goddess of prosperity, into their homes. Fireworks explode in the sky many nights in a row, and amid this joyous atmosphere families gather, dressed in new clothes, to exchange gifts and enjoy sweets. As Diwali signifies the renewal of life and heralds the beginning of a new season, the festival also calls for a freshly cleaned and vibrantly decorated home. “It’s really an excuse to have fun,” Anjini told the Palisadian-Post from her parents’ home in Bombay, where she and daughters Ayeshna, 5, and Ayaana, 3, are now on holiday. “India is alive with so many different festivals. It’s a coming together and closeness of people that’s an integral part of who we are.” Children at Seven Arrows got a real taste of this communal spirit when Desai recruited the entire student body to help her fashion the school’s own version of Diwali. They assisted her in making “diya,” created traditional “rangoli” designs composed of colored sand and fresh flowers to adorn the floors and constructed garlands of marigolds and carnations to grace the walls. This set the stage for an event that featured storytelling, traditional Indian music and an elaborate folk dance performance. Both children and adults donned authentic Indian clothing supplied by Desai, some coming from her own wardrobe, other pieces purchased and brought back from India. “Its a different body awareness if you wear costumes,” Desai explains. “I teach little children. They can feel the movement and better understand the culture with the right clothing and costumes.” An unabashed use of bold color was among the most striking elements of the festival. “Color is part and parcel of everyday life in India,” explains Anjini. “It’s part of the vibrancy of the whole culture.” The students not only became active celebrants of Dewali, but also gave thought to the holiday’s underlying purpose as a time of purification, forgiveness and strengthening of friends and family ties. Anjini, who has a degree in business management from Oxford and is a black belt in Goju Karate, regularly teaches traditional and classical Indian dance to children ages 4 to 10. Her “Ghungroo” dance classes are offered through Seven Arrows’ Roots and Wings program in Temescal Gateway Park. The children chant “Dha-ge-na-ki, na-ka-dhin-na,” while “ghungroos,” bands of bells tied to their ankles, rattle and chime to their movements. The dance classes are also infused with stories and poems about the children of India, along with small art projects based on the meaning of a song or instrument. “My daughter is having such a good time, and the dancing is so contagious that I end up dancing with her in class every time,” says Lorena Kiralla, whose daughter Grace, 6, attends Desai’s Ghungroo class. “It is so much fun, the moms have been begging for an adult class of their own.” This is precisely what Desai is planning next, with an adult Ghungroo class scheduled to begin in February. In the meantime, Desai and her husband, who has played the sitar since a child in India, continue to share their cultural heritage around town, including at Little Dolphins, the preschool where both their daughters are enrolled.

Palisadian Kenny Golde said his daily conversation changed when he moved from producing to writing and directing. “As a producer, it was ‘How much is it going to cost and when is it due?’As a director it is ‘What do you think this character is feeling right now?’ Now it’s talking about feelings and imagination. It just turns me on.” His first feature film, “The Job,” a graphically violent thriller, was released on DVD January 13. The film also had a one-week theatrical release in December. The film focuses on CJ, a female hired killer, played by Daryl Hannah. She is told by her boss to kill a pregnant woman whose husband is dealing stolen drugs. But she has difficulty doing the deed when she finds out she herself is pregnant. Also in the mix are a former priest, an attempted abortion, childhood flashbacks and a drug deal gone wrong. Golde’s previous directing experience was with his short film, “Food for Thought,” which won awards at the 2001 Worldfest Houston International Film Festival and the 2000 Brooklyn Film Festival. That film, starring David Ogden Stiers, was one of a dozen shorts acquired in 2001 by HBO and was shown on that channel and Cinemax more than 100 times. “The Job” was shot in a little over three weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve 2002, at 22 locations around Los Angeles. Golde, 36, found that the holiday season was a time when crew and equipment were available. The entire crew worked for free, while the cast was paid minimal union salaries. The budget was less than $500,000. He, producer Dan Levin, a friend from Taft High School, and executive producer Larry Gabriel cast the film just after Daryl Hannah finished with “Kill Bill, Vol. 1.” Other cast members then came on board, including Brad Renfro, Dominique Swain, and Alex Rocco (Moe Greene in “The Godfather”). “Sixty people showed up every day for no money,” Golde said. “My job as a director was not just making a movie, but creating an environment where people wanted to come back. There was a bonding among the crew.” The film was made independently by Platform Entertainment and sold to distributor Lions Gate Entertainment, which released the movie on DVD. “They do a calculation process of their expenses. I’m thrilled we made an independent film that sold for distribution. Most independent films are not.” The film, which is rated R, will eventually be shown on pay-per-view and cable. Golde, who grew up in Woodland Hills, initially wanted to be a novelist and has written a science fiction novel “Apollo Main.” After graduating from UC Berkeley, he began his career in the film industry, working for an agency, production companies and then as a producer in film and television. He has also written and directed more than 30 “Intimate Portraits” for Lifetime Television. “I’m lucky. A lot of people out there, between feature films, turn to other types of work,” Golde said. “I get to write and produce these.” He cites model Christie Brinkley and novelist Barbara Taylor Bradford as his favorites whom he has profiled in the hour-long biographical show. Golde has lived in the Palisades for 11 years. His next project is directing “Haunted Hearts,” which he describes as a dramatic comedy, written by Ted Henning.