Rich Schmitt/Staff Photographer
Past and Future Mayors Reimagine the Palisades
By JOHN HARLOW | Editor-in-Chief
In one of the more raucous nights in Palisadian history, the town’s most exclusive club—the former honorary mayors—gathered to inaugurate our first joint honorary mayors, actress/producer Janice Goldfinger and her husband, a popular comedian named Billy Crystal.
And they, in return, publicly committed themselves to a list of mayoral priorities that could turn Pacific Palisades upside down …
If they had been serious, which the evening of Saturday, Jan. 20, was certainly not.
As they took over the official gavel from their predecessor, actor Kevin Nealon, they declared, “This is why many nations around the world are jealous of Pacific Palisades and our peaceful transition of power.”
Goldfinger laid down their first demand: “We don’t just want to ride the ’57 Chevy in the Fourth of July Parade—we want it!”
Pointing at developer Rick Caruso in the audience she said, “You are not going to have a pot shop in Village Palisades? Are you high? It should go next to McConnell’s ice cream shop.”
Crystal unveiled his cunning anti-noise pollution plan.
“I have all the names and addresses of the Ruthless Ryderz so at 4:30 a.m. on Thursday morning, we meet up and drive past their houses—who is with me?”
He also wants his own nail salon—until now, he has gotten clipped at Paws and Claws.
In a solemn oath administered by Nealon at the sold-out Pacific Palisades Chamber of Commerce event at the Pacific Palisades Woman’s Club, the town’s new golden couple—“Bjanice,” or maybe “Crysfinger”—pledged to carry on digging Nealon’s secret tunnel between Palisades Village and The Grove.
But probably not a wall around the town, they said, even if they were banning people from “[expletive] hole” towns, such as Malibu and Brentwood.
“In the name of diversity, Sunset will be renamed Irving R. Feltz Way,” Crystal declared.
The Alphabet Streets will be finally arranged in the correct order, Nealon’s oath mandated.
And, he urged, they must find a permanent home for the Pacific Palisades Farmers Market so people don’t have to guess its location every week.
Crystal and Goldfinger, who moved from Hancock Park to the Palisades in 1979, said they had been considering taking on the role for a long time.
“We knew it was the best place to raise kids, but it was not until I was cornered by [Chamber member] Brett Bjornson in Gelson’s—I was looking at the $7 apples—that I realized that, with so many things happening, like the Caruso development, it was time to take it on,” Crystal said.
Will the power go to his head? Nealon (mayor No. 29) admitted he abused the title—staying out until 1:30 a.m. on unexpected “parades.”
“Arnie started by calling me Mr. Mayor, which sounded silly—and then I started demanding it,” Nealon joked, adding that stepping down “after attending three out of four parades,” he would now have to switch out Gelson’s for Ralphs, Pharmaca for CVS.
Actor Steve Guttenberg (No. 25) revealed he took the job only after his mother confronted his immediate predecessor Anthony Hopkins (No. 24) in a restaurant.
“Excuse me, Mr. Hannibal,” Guttenberg’s mother said, before asking whether her son should take the job: The comic actor went on to serve an exceptional two terms over four years.
Retired champion boxer “Sugar” Ray Leonard (also known as No. 27) said when he took over in 2011, he walked around the town feeling like “The Man.”
“I was asked by a lady in the street to fix a parking meter—‘Done,’ I said. It was only when I got home I got a different perspective from my wife [Bernadette Robi], who I love very, very much.
“By the way, we are downsizing—are there any Realtors in the audience?”
(Big laugh, followed by many business cards.)
The ebullient emcee Jake Steinfeld (No. 28), alongside Rams announcer Sam Lagana and City Councilmember Mike Bonin, praised Arnie Wishnick, who celebrated his 25th year at the Chamber with a witty speech that aroused some of the loudest applause of the night.
They said there was not a nicer, saner person in town than “the real Mr. Palisades.”
Which is impressive, considering, as Wishnick revealed, the most common question he gets at the Chamber, year after year, is “When is the Fourth of July Parade?”
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